Gallbladder Surgery

Wow, talk about have the rug pulled from under you! This whole surgery thing has been quite the experience. Truth be told I don't know how much I'm going to write now because I still feel extremely weak and still slightly nauseous. The holes in my belly are still very painful and I can't stand up straight yet, so Jeff and I have been joking about me looking like a haggard old lady, ahh except laughing hurts. I couldn't even fully appreciate my fav show last night, America's Funniest. Ohh well.

I've been trying to ween myself off T3's and I have only taken one today I was taking 2 every 4 hours on Friday and Saturday. I think that's what makes me nauseous though. I've taken Gravol, but it burns up my throat and makes me feel like crap. We've decided that I don't do anesthesia that well because I was throwing up after surgery and vomited on and off since the surgery and today, thankfuly I only had a few dry heaves this morning. Sorry for the details, but this is real life.

My wonderful, loving hubby is taking exremely good care of me, fetching me this and that, I even woke up out of a daze to find beautiful flowers on the table and a nice card. This has definately taken it's toll on me, but I'm strong and I need to remind myself to let me body rest. i try to do something as easy as take the laundry downstairs, but I get winded and dizzy. It's one more step that I need to take and that's what's important. After a few more days, this will just be a memory (oh and I think some scars to remind me) and I know that I can do anything through HIM who gives me strength.

The SIS exam (as painful as it was) went fine. Dr. M said my uterus looks great and is very healthy. The size and shape are good, and he said it's a perfect environment for implanting. Yah!!!
Now if the days would just move faster until my gallbladder surgery and then appt in Feb to get this treatment train moving!!

This New Year has been great so far. It was good to see family and friends over the holidays, and spend quality time with such loving and supportive people. We also learned of some bitter sweet news. Some friends of ours just announced their 2nd pregnancy and we are thrilled for them. At the same time I hope and pray that we will also be able to make that same announcement soon.

I go into the fertility clinic Thursday this week to have my SIS exam done by Dr. M. SIS is "Saline Infused Sonogram", where Dr. M will pump saline through a tube into my uterus to see the lining and if there are any blockages. It's an x ray of sorts. The last one was very uncomfortable and quiet painful, so I'm really not looking forward to it. I do hope that we'll find out that my lining has thickened and my uterus has grown, meaning implantation will be more successful. If not, my meds may be altered again (hopefully without crazy side effects) Continuing to live day by day and trusting in HIM. :)

A new year a new chapter

The start of 2010. Wow, I really look forward to what the new year will bring. Praying for strength, guidance and patience as 2010 unfolds...

I still need to fully conquer my fears and sadness about not having a child that is biologically mine. I have accepted that I need a donor egg in order to go through with IVF and with God's grace, hold a baby in my arms. I'm working on laying down my inhibitions and worries of not feeeling fully attached to my child and placing these fears at God's feet.

Praying, talking with Jeff and reflecting have most definitely calmed most of my fears, but I have also read some articles that help me to see that my baby will indeed be a part of me. Here are a few excerpts from what I've read:

“Perhaps the greatest myth surrounds pregnancy. Many believe the uterus is simply an incubator. Nothing could be further from the truth. The most important aspect of all pregnancies- including egg donation pregnancies- is that as the fetus grows, every cell in the developing body is built out of the pregnant mother’s body. Tissue from her uterine lining will contribute to the formation of the placenta, which will link her and her child. The fetus will use her body’s protein, then she will replace it. The fetus uses her sugars, calcium, nitrates, and fluids, and she will replace them. So, if you think of your dream child as your dream house, the genes provide merely a basic blueprint, the biological mother takes care of all the materials and construction, from the foundation right on up to the light fixtures. So, although her husband’s aunt Sara or the donor’s grandfather may have genetically programmed the shape of the new baby’s earlobe, the earlobe itself is the pregnant woman’s “flesh and blood.” That means the earlobe, along with the baby herself, grew from the recipient’s body. That is why she is the child’s biological mother. That is why this child is her biological child.”

- In a donor egg pregnancy, the pregnant woman’s womb is the environment.It is her genes, not the donor’s, that determine the expression of the donor -egg baby’s genes.

- A donor egg baby gets his/her genes from the donor; he/she gets the ‘instructions’ on the expression of those genes from the woman who carries her to term.

- The birth mother helps shape the baby she carries from the moment that embryo is implanted in her uterus.

When I think of holding our newborn in my arms, feeling its heartbeat, and looking into those precious eyes, a surge of emotions runs through me as I picture it. An all consuming love, adoration, awe, a true BLESSING. I want to feel what a mother feels when she expresses, YES, this is my child! and God has given him/her to us by His almighty grace. I know that I will feel a connection deeper than I can ever comprehend right now, and I pray that our beautiful newborn will feel the immense love we have for him/her. That he/she is a part of us BOTH and formed ever so lovingly by our heavenly maker.

Wow this has been a cold few days!! I'm excited that the weather will finally warm up! I went in to see Dr. Sample (surgeon) today and we discussed how the gallbladder surgery would be. He will do a laproscopic (4 small holes, where they work with little tube like instraments to cut and then pull the gallbladder out) It's on'y a few hours and I should be able to go home that same day. Jeff will have to come as they don't allow you to drive home or do anything for 48hrs. My surgery is set for Jan 29 '10, which is perfect because it's a Friday, so I can recover during the weekend, and not miss more work.

I was relieved to hear it would happen in January (even if it's at the very end!) This means we can start on a mock cycle in Feb. (appt booked on the 24th) I still hope to get donor in for her testing prior to that, so prayers for my calls to the clinic in that regard to get returned soon. I've been chatting on the IVF.ca forum for the last few months and a woman who's cycling at the Edmonton clinic said to be persistant. Call more often and don't be shy about wanting answers. So I will call again at the end of the week if I still don't hear anything.

So the New Year will bring on a few procedures. My SIS exam (saline injection) is scheduled for Jan 14 (so close to my birthday!:( ), then the gallbladder surgery on the 29th. Hopefuly February will be the start of IVF treatments. I'm hoping 2010 is our year!!!

Well I have made a few calls and I have an appt with Dr. Motan on Feb. 24. By that time I hope to have my gallbladder surgery complete and my SIS exam (saline infusion to look at uterus and lining) will be done as well.
Hoping we can then start a mock cycle to see how I will react to treatments. So continued prayers for that. God has His hand in all this!